


Drifting Back

by Tarlan



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies), Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2019-01-07 20:56:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12240459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarlan/pseuds/Tarlan
Summary: When the Breach first opened John discovered what he wanted to do with his life,and that road led him to a Jaeger technician, Rodney McKay.





	Drifting Back

**Author's Note:**

  * For [darthneko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/darthneko/gifts).



> Darthneko wanted a little more on the mech, and a fusion rather than a crossover. I hope you enjoy this.  
> Note: This follows the Pacific Rim timeline rather than the SGA timeline.

The Breach first opened in August, 2013, at Challenger Deep in the Mariana Trench, in an area lying east of the Philippines; the deepest place on Earth.

At twenty-three years of age John was at a loose end after finishing at Stanford, not sure what he wanted to do with his life but knowing he did not want to spend it behind a desk pushing pieces of paper like his father and brother. The first attack was in San Francisco and he could still recall the shock wave that went around the world upon seeing this massive creature rise up from the depths of the Pacific Ocean to destroy the Golden Gate Bridge before laying waste to half the Californian coast line. John had been glued to his TV screen along with the rest of the world, watching the horror unfold. For days Military jets buzzed around the massive creature making about as much difference as annoying mosquitoes, swatted away easily, until the decision was made to end the rampage of Kaiju Trespasser using three tactical nuclear missiles that leveled Oakland and most of the Bay area. Thousands died over those terrible six days and many more afterwards when the blood spilled from the dying creature proved toxic - Kaiju Blue.

John held helicopter pilot's license already, and much to his father's disapproval, he enlisted in the Air Force the following day, wanting to serve his country, his world.

Over the next two years the incursions continued - Manila, Mexico, Sydney in Australia - and the world responded with the Jaeger Program. The first Jaeger was built by the Canadians - Brawler Yukon - and two years after the first attack in San Francisco the second American Mark I Jaeger, Romeo Blue, rolled off the production line to meet the continuing threat posed by the Kaiju. John put in a transfer request to join the recently formed Pan Pacific Defense Corps and became one of the first F50 JumpHawk pilots. It was dangerous work, carrying the heavy, swaying weight of a Jaeger out to the drop zone whenever a Kaiju was detected coming through the Breach. They had to fly in all weather conditions, even through storms that would see the most daring of pilots balking. The difficult cargo was hard to manage, needing exceptional pilot skills to counter both the weight and the sudden loss once the Jaeger detached, but John was an exceptional pilot.

It all went bad the day Mitch and Dex's JumpHawk was struck by a Kaiju, their helicopter spinning out of control and crashing into the sea. Disobeying a direct order to return to base, John searched the ocean below in the darkness in case someone had survived the crash. The magnetic storm caused by the Breach opening had made tracking more difficult and the fight between Romeo Blue and the latest Kaiju, Hardship, created massive waves. John's JumpHawk was struck by a glancing blow and he managed to crash-land into the sea without the JumpHawk completely breaking apart, but he lost two of his crew in the process. He remembered floating for hours trying to keep the only other survivor alive but by the time rescue came Lyle Holland was gone too, and John was in a dark place mentally. At his court martial he was given the choice of resignation - going back to his father's conglomerate business with his tail firmly tucked between his legs - or reassignment to the newly established Alaska Shatterdome in Anchorage, otherwise known as the Icebox, as a basic transport pilot. It was a big step down from being a combat JumpHawk pilot but he felt he deserved no less after the loss of his crew and his friends, and Alaska was beautiful in all seasons, but most especially in the winter months when the world below was covered in snow and ice.

It was here that he first met Rodney McKay, a highly regarded Jaeger technician and designer.

"No, no, no. Don't touch that... unless you want to die horribly, in which case go right ahead."

John raised his hands and stepped back before turning to face the man scolding him. He used his most disarming smile automatically, feeling it falter a little when he came face to face with a quirkily handsome, slightly younger man with intelligent, bright blue eyes, a crooked mouth, and a head of blond curls. The guy bustled around John, moving smaller items beyond John's reach with narrowed eyes.

"Who are you?" hte guy demanded.

"Captain John Sheppard. Helo Pilot."

"Huh! Not one of those hotshot Jaeger pilots then."

John grimaced because pilots like Stacker Pentecost, and Bruce and Trevin Gage were today's rock stars. He had considered applying for the Jaeger academy at one time but the idea of willingly opening up his mind to another person in the Drift made his skin crawl. He knew everyone had their secrets, good and bad, but he also knew he'd prefer to keep his own that way - secret.

"Well, while you're here you might as well make yourself useful. Hold this."

As he took the drivesuit helmet John read the name tag on the man's uniform, Dr. M. R. McKay. McKay seemed almost too young to have a PhD and was obviously one of the civilian contractors. He cast a quick glance around the laboratory space. From the items lying around the work bench and the complex math scrawled across multiple whiteboards it appeared McKay had his finger in every pie from the Pons to the mech itself. John recognized some of the equations.

"So, whatcha doing, McKay?" he asked, holding the drivesuit helmet at various angles until McKay was satisfied.

"Improving the connectivity between the Pons and the mech."

He launched into some technical explanation that went over John's head but there was something cute about McKay acting like an over-excited puppy, with hands drawing patterns in the air as if that could shed light where technobabble had failed. His eyes shone even brighter, pupils dilated and face flushed. John barely noticed the time passing, resolving to come back again the following day to help McKay with his work. After a few more days it seemed like he was always in McKay's laboratory space whenever he had free time. McKay became Rodney, and he noticed Rodney tended to get so caught up in his work he forgot to eat, and then complained heartily of hypoglycemia, so John started to bring sandwiches with him.

"Try this on," Rodney demanded, pushing a drive helmet into his hands.

"No." John shoved it right back at him.

Rodney frowned. "It's perfectly safe."

"Not the point."

He watched confusion give way to realization. "Got something to hide, Sheppard?" Rodney asked airily with a wave of his hand.

"Yes. No! My thoughts and memories are my own, okay?" John wished his voice hadn't taken on a slightly pleading tone.

"What could you possibly have to hide? The name of your stylist?"

John reached for his hair but shook off the hair-envy confusion. "If I told you... it wouldn't be a secret anymore."

Rodney grimaced at the logic and John was glad when he let the matter drop. He'd overhead one of the hotshots talk about what it was like in the Drift and how easy it was to chase the rabbit, losing oneself in memories, especially the ones that traumatized. He still had nightmares over the deaths of Mitch and Dex and his crew. In them he was the one dying, drowning, as the vicious fight between the Jaeger and Kaiju churned the waters around him. Yet those were not the memories he wanted to hide. Instead he recalled a fumbling first kiss from a boy in his year at High School and how he had pushed that boy away, scared because he had like it, had felt turned on by it, but more afraid of what others might think - his friends, his team mates... his father. He had come to terms with that side of himself a few years later but he still burned with shame for his actions back in his high school days.

Also, John wasn't too sure how far this mind sharing thing went, whether it was just memories or whether fantasies would be shared too. He really didn't want Rodney to know he had a starring role in John's current set of fantasies, especially as he had no idea how Rodney felt about guys, blaming his unreliable gaydar and the fact Rodney tended to stare inappropriately at buxom blonds. The only thing that gave John pause to doubt was how he sometimes caught Rodney staring at him just as hard when Rodney thought John wouldn't notice. Rodney always looked wistful on those occasions rather than simply staring out of curiosity.

A few months later John was offered the chance to fly JumpHawks again, but only if he transferred to the newly established Shatterdome in Los Angeles. It was a tough decision but in the end the call to duty overrode all personal desires.

"They need me in L.A., Rodney. I can do more good there in a JumpHawk than here ferrying people and supplies."

****

**Seven Years Later:**

John couldn't believe the Governments of the world had made a unilateral decision to shut down the Jaeger program, wanting to concentrate instead on the Anti-Kaiju wall surrounding the Pacific. Over the course of a couple of months late in 2024, all of the Shatterdomes around the world were shut down, with most personnel reassigned to other work. The remaining technicians were sent to the Hong Kong Shatterdome along with the three surviving Jaegers - Striker Eureka, Crimson Tide, and Cherno Alpha.

As one of the best JumpHawk pilots John was not surprised to find his reassignment papers ordering him to Hong Kong too. When he arrived the place was almost chaotic with parts of Jaegers lying all over, and John had a feeling Pentecost had pulled in more than a few markers to get as much equipment as possible before it was all taken to Oblivion Bay as so much scrap metal and circuitry. As he wandered through the massive structure John stopped when he came across a fourth Jaeger - Gypsy Danger.

"I thought she'd been scrapped after the confrontation with Knifehead," he murmured out loud beside a broad-shouldered technician with short brown-blond hair who had his back to John.

The technician turned. "Obviously a mistake as I'm now in the process of repairing all the... John?"

John turned and stared at the man. All traces of a gangly youth had left the body and face but John would recognize those blue eyes and the crooked smile anywhere. He had dreamed of them often enough over the years.

"Rodney?"

"Huh! You look... good, Sheppard. In fact you've hardly changed at all." Rodney pursed his lips, looking put out at the thought.

John knew that was not strictly true. He had aged a little, grown less idealistic with each death witnessed over the years, but he took a moment longer to study the changes in Rodney; the fuller face, the broader frame... the slightly receding hairline. He almost touched his own full head of spiky hair with a smirk, but John had to admit he highly approved of the changes in the man standing before him. The thin spindly arms and legs were now nicely muscled, and the shoulders broad, probably from years of handling heavy items of mech. Rodney looked more desirable now than he had as the younger man in John's memories, and it took every bit of self-control not to blurt out how much he had wanted Rodney then... and now. Instead he took a step back and glanced up at the massive Jaeger.

"She was always your baby," John stated.

Beside him Rodney preened because he'd been the one to design Gypsy Danger, and she'd racked up four Kaiju kills in as many years before Knifehead emerged from the Breach close to Anchorage two years earlier. John had never met the Becket brothers but he'd seen them in action after dropping Pegasus Atlantis at the mouth of the L.A. river alongside Gypsy Danger to stop Kaiju Yamarashi reaching the city. They'd emerged victorious that day.

"Well, she's mine again," he breathed, and John smiled at the paternal look of affection crossing Rodney's face. The look faded to a steeled expression. "If you're going to stick around this time then you'd best make yourself useful." Rodney snapped his fingers towards a tool sitting on the console.

John was too happy to resent and buck the order, grabbing the tool and shifting closer to Rodney. They worked side-by-side for hours, and it was if the last seven years simply melted away as Rodney tested all the circuits, yelling orders to his pit crew. John recognized a few of the names - Radek, Miko, Carson. He watched as one of the massive arms began to rotate, aware all of the Jaegers could be controlled remotely in the Shatterdome but not with the speed and adaptability of a human mind interfaced in battle.

Three days later there was only one interface left to test - the Pons connection to the Jaeger through the drivesuits. Gypsy Danger still had no pilots, though John had heard a rumor Pentecost was looking for the remaining Becket brother, Raleigh, who had managed to solo-pilot the Jaeger, killing Knifehead and navigating back to land after his brother was killed.

"I need to test this but the damn Russian pilots won't help and everyone else is 'too busy'." 

Rodney air-quoted the final words and John could understand his frustration. Gypsy Danger was the last of the Mark III Jaegers, and although she wasn't as old as Cherno Alpha, she was analog compared to digital as far as most personnel were concerned. No one believed she'd ever be deployed, wondering why Pentecost had even bothered to bring her back from Oblivion Bay, where all the dead Jaegers were laid to rest.

John looked hard at the helmet sitting on top of the console waiting to be dry tested alongside its partner. Years ago he had pushed it back into Rodney's hands, too afraid to Drift with Rodney in case he saw John's darkest secrets and fantasies. He never wanted to see those blue eyes fill with disgust at him... or pity but, instead, John had spent the past few years wishing he hadn't been such a coward, wishing he had reached out for more than friendship. He had learned too late that it was better to be rebuffed now than live a half-life filled with regrets, and now he had the chance to rectify that mistake. He picked up the helmet and carefully placed it over his head before settling into the left-hand safety chair, watching as Rodney's eyes went round in disbelief.

"Am I doing this solo?"

"What? No! Do you want to melt your brain?" Rodney scrabbled for the second helmet and pulled it on before taking the safety chair on the other side.

As soon as Rodney was seated both chairs reclined, the circuitry below the floor and within the chairs lighting up an azure blue. Everyone was affected differently as they entered the Drift. For John it was a vertical pool of water, rippling within a circular frame. He felt his mind push his virtual fingers against it, dipping through, disappearing. He took a deep breath, knowing he couldn't back out now, and stepped through, feeling disoriented as if traveling across space and time. Memories assailed him of good days and bad. He blew out the candles on his sixth birthday cake, seeing his mom's happy smile before the cancer took her away from him. He received his PhD, only to realize it was Rodney's memory, not his. Alongside Rodney's merging memories of academic triumphs and defeats John relived his own regrets; the boy who tried to kiss him in the locker room at high school, the inky blackness of the churning sea as lights glinted off the debris of Mitch and Dex's JumpHawk. He could hear the roar of Kaiju Hardship as it fought with Romeo Blue, the world spinning out of control, his helo crashing; his own voice hoarse and desperate as he begged Holland to hang on just a little longer. Another voice called out, fainter, familiar, and he latched onto it. Images of Rodney came to mind. Memories of times and places, of desires and needs, all revealed, except he could see himself too. He could see himself through Rodney's eyes, through Rodney's thoughts and memories, finding no shame in the desire he had held onto for over seven years.

Suddenly there was true clarity as his thoughts locked in beside Rodney's, strong and sure as the neural handshake was successful. He could feel Gypsy Danger all around him, sense her controls even though he was not fully connected through the drivesuit within the conn pod. It faded as their minds separated once more, the test coming to its end.

"I guess we're Drift compatible," John stated softly as he removed the test helmet.

Rodney blinked rapidly, as if still trying to process all he had felt and seen. "Did you want to see if we're compatible in other ways too?"

John sniggered as he pushed out of the chair and stepped across to where Rodney was struggling to sit up. "If that's your best pick up line..."

"Oh, and you can do better? Mister emotionally stunted-."

After all they had just shared, kissing Rodney was the easiest thing he'd ever done, and when they finally parted John knew this was just the first of many.

In the days to follow they learned the true nature of the Kaiju and their masters, and Rodney had to stay behind as John's JumpHawk picked up the weight of Gypsy Danger alongside several other helos, carrying the only two remaining Jaegers to the Mariana Trench, to Challenger Deep, in the hope of permanently sealing the Breach before the aliens finished their conquest of Earth. When the cheer resounded around the Shatterdome, John heard it on his comm, and when he returned to a heroes welcome alongside the only surviving pilots - Raleigh Becket and Mako Mori - John only had eyes for one man.

He hugged Rodney tight kissing him openly, deeply, as the celebrations went on around them even as they also wept for those they had lost, for Stacker Pentecost and Chuck Hansen.

Later, as they lay sated and warm in Rodney's bed, John heard Rodney's deep sigh.

"It's over."

"I hope you're not referring to us."

"No! No, I mean the Kaiju. It's gone... unless the aliens open another breach. I guess they could because they opened one before and-."

"Rodney," John wheedled. "Let's think about that tomorrow."

He felt Rodney slowly relax against him. "Yes. Let's."

END  
 


End file.
